IC: Empatheias Mailbox

[boredalready]

Recipient: Lloyd Irving
Alignment: Elios
Homeworld: Sylverant (Aselia)

(OOC: Please leave a date for when this mail is being sent to Lloyd. Kthxbai.)

Comments

[luxuriant]

Great! Then I'll get right to it.

[Should they meet up, or should he risk his emotions coming over through the crystal? He decides the latter for now, fidgeting with his hands as he pauses just long enough.]

Do you really still trust me after everything I did? How do you know things are going to go for me the same way they did for you?

[boredalready]

[If Zelos wanted to come over or meet up, Lloyd would've been okay with that.]

Of course I still trust you. I mean... [He sighs, heavily.] Look, I know what it's like to have your family used against you and to feel like you have no choice in what happens. It's not like Cruxis gave us, any of us, options.

You, me, Kratos, Celes, Colette, we all did what we thought we had to do to survive.

And I know you. And the rest of our friends.

Besides, if I can forgive Kratos, why not you?

[luxuriant]

No matter what you say, I definitely had a choice. I was weighing all of you, and... I mean, I still was! Before I came here.

[His whole chest tightens at his own negative feelings, but at least Lloyd's words start to help against that. But it's hard to beat so many years of insecurities and worries balled into a big issue like this.]

It feels like I'm skipping over all of the work to earn your forgiveness. I don't deserve it in the first place, so why should I get it when I haven't done anything right yet?

[boredalready]

[Even though it's a serious subject, he can't help but be amused at his dumb friend's words and actions.]

What makes you think it took more than me punching you? I mean, if it makes you feel better, I can punch you. Or let Sheena do it.

And even as early as the stuff with Kate, the half-elves on Tethe'alla and the stupid Pope, you were thinking and acting differently.

So, stop being stupid.

[luxuriant]

[The feeling that comes across in response to that is a muted sort of embarrassment. He noticed something like that...? But still, that way of saying it!]

I mean, you can punch me if you want...

[There's a bit of a pause after that answer, a sort of mental fidgeting.] You've got a real harsh way of saying things sometimes, you know that?

[He doesn't want to be a burden or an uncertainty in any of their lives. It sounds like Lloyd is sure of it, he thinks... So maybe that's all there is to it? But he still feels like he cheated out time. Maybe all of his thoughts are what's really troublesome. He struggles with this for another moment.]

So, then, do you want to... go somewhere? ...With me? You know, like hang out.

[boredalready]

[Of course he noticed it. It was Zelos's slowly changing way of thinking and his willingness to help out Raine and Genis get free, despite the way he was raised to considering half-elves lower beings, that had really solidified Lloyd's own loyalty to the redhead. And after meeting Seles, he could see that Zelos was full of crap but was really a good guy, deep down.]

I don't want to punch you. And I don't think you really need it. We're friends and you've got good and bad points, just like anyone else.

And if you wanted someone to tell you things gently, you've got Sebastian for that.

[Honestly, Zelos, do you expect him to hold your hand? He doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but he also doesn't really know how to be sensitive either.]

Did you have some place in mind? Or, you know, we could do one of the tasks on the task board. I could use the extra sylvs.

[luxuriant]

Sebastian, right...

[Nevermind that his butler only says things in the most serious and official way possible. It's not very personal! But, if he's looking for sensitivity, he's got someone here he has in mind. Maybe he'll talk about it later.

For now, he's just feeling pretty stupid and not knowing what to do about it.]

Let's meet up at the task board, then. It's what we do best! I'll head there now.

[Sure enough, he does head there. He manages to get there first, so whenever Lloyd arrives, he'll be able to spot Zelos tracing over requests for the right one.]

[Voice --> Action]

[boredalready]

[But Sebastian obviously cares for him and wants the best for Zelos. Stop being so selfish. Besides, when has Lloyd ever been the guy that people come to for comfort?

Well, anyone but Colette?]

Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can. Do we need Noishe or should I leave him here?

[He's packing a few things into his pockets anyway and takes the Protozoan with him. If they don't need him, he can send the creature to wherever Sheena or Colette are until they return. And it takes him all of ten minutes to reach the board and his friend.]

Anything good?

[luxuriant]

It should be fine with just us.

[By the time Lloyd gets there, Zelos has already pinpointed one of the only tasks available that he thinks might help. Fighting. There's no way they're going to work out proposal ideas or sell beer, so...]

How about this? It looks like some big guys are going nuts and they need people to take them down.

[boredalready]

[With a smile, he sends Noishe off to Colette and takes a look at the board. Perfect.]

I guess that'll work out fine. It's been a while since we've fought some tough monster. Last time I went out, I was with Kor and Yuri. Acidic slimes are no fun. Unless they're on fire.

[luxuriant]

Great! Then go take care of this.

[When they do start making their way in the right direction, it seems the perfect chance to talk a little more, so...] Have you been making a lot of new friends here?

[boredalready]

Sure.

[Lloyd's content to walk in silence, which is completely different from how he used to be when he and Genis first left Iselia. In fact, he doesn't get bored anywhere near as easily as he used to. Probably has to do with the fact that things changed pretty quickly once they joined up with Colette, Raine and Kratos and just...never slowed down.

But he can tell that there's something really bothering Zelos still. Since he's not a mind reader, he's going to wait until his friend actually says something though.]

Yeah, I've met a lot of really nice people since I arrived. I guess Kor was my first friend here. He, uh, helped me rescue Colette. She got kidnapped around the time that Thras showed up.

[luxuriant]

Seriously? Can't she get a break?

[Maybe the extra guilt is because he was mid process kidnapping her himself, but... Ignoring that, she doesn't deserve all of this. His distaste for the Arehtei is growing more each day.]

I don't know if I've ever met anyone named Kor, but anyone who's your friend is a friend of mine! You guys were here when Thras showed up? Were you here for any of the other ones? Other than the ones I've been here for, obviously.

[boredalready]

Well, she wasn't the only one. A lot of people were kidnapped. There were also people like me and Kor trying to rescue them. And then there was a group still here in Verens.

[He's made his peace with Colette's tendency to be kidnapped. Especially since she'd helped a good number of captives escape before he and Kor arrived.]

Thras is the only I've been here for. Sosyne came like two months before that or something. We're probably due for another to show up soon. Piphron or Aiada. Nagito's seen a bunch show up, so I recommend asking him or Alvin if you've got questions.

[luxuriant]

That doesn't make it any better.

[It makes it worse, in fact. His face falls into an expression a little more serious, but he doesn't comment too much more on that for now. Alvin, huh... He remembered that guy mentioning something about Lloyd.]

I don't know the first guy, but I could ask the second. But what do you think about all of this Arehtei business?

[boredalready]

I guess. I mean, I got to hear him talk. He just seems like he likes adventure and watching people do brave stuff. Kidnappings is a crappy way to go about it, but he's a dragon.

[After dealing with Thras, Elios and Peromei, Lloyd's starting to just accept them. Like he does with his friends.]

I dunno. They're like the summoning spirits back home. They all have personalities and things they like and dislike. Elios is kinda obnoxious, but he means well. I guess. Peromei is nice. She helped me with part of figuring out Colette's cure, but she's also had some bad stuff happen with Junko.

[luxuriant]

They're meant to represent two sides of a coin, aren't they? Bravery and fear, and so on.

[He's more bothered by this, but then he expected Lloyd to be more forgiving of everything that's been happening. He's just not sure how he feels about that right now. Concerned? Or that it's admirable?]

They're going to be dangerous no matter what happens, and if they're not for some reason, that's dangerous in and of itself. Setting things off balance in either direction could wind up horrible for everyone.

[boredalready]

Yeah, they are. I mean, people aren't just one thing. Why should they?

[Our intrepid hero's also had more dealings with them. Time to meet some godlike creatures, bud.]

Yeah, like what happened at the end of the festival last month. There's a lot of stuff about this place that sucks and a lot of questions that need to be answered, but rushing in unprepared gets us in trouble.

[luxuriant]

Bud, this isn't the same thing as someone having differences! These are extremes! [He gestures with his hand to try and express his concern over this.] And these are extremes that affect the people around them! The whole island is at risk because these things are just sitting and waiting for us to fix things. Doesn't it sit wrong with you?

[boredalready]

Of course it does! I'm not some stupid kid that's just let stuff happen to me. I've asked around and talked to people. I've checked out stuff when I could, but forgive me that main concern was making sure my best friend didn't die while we were stuck here with no way back!

[If he wanted Lloyd angry, then he's succeeded.]

Dammit, Zelos, I've been stuck here half a year. A lot of people have been here way longer. Being scared's not gonna help us figure out what's going on! If I stop too long, I miss home and I resent a lot of crap. Which isn't useful either!

[luxuriant]

[Zelos listens quietly through all of that yelling, even if his eyes do widen in surprise at first. He's quick to make that settle down, looking ahead as they walk and resting a hand on his hip.]

Don't get mad, bud! [Rather than express any of his actual feelings, he acts as carefree as usual.] I'm not trying to discount all that you've been through here. I was just... you know, trying to talk about it. There's got to be something we can do about all of this.

[boredalready]

Don't give me that bullshit, Zelos. I don't want you to act like you don't actually have an opinion on all of this, because it's obvious you do. Stop lying to me. Stop lying to yourself.

And what we can do is try to find out what happened and how to fix it. Which is what a bunch of people are already doing. I help when and where I can and if you're so worried, maybe you should talk to Milla, Jude and Alvin. Those three have been here for a long time and have helped discover a bunch of crap.

I'm surprised you haven't tried to tear apart the library and weedled your way into the Enforcers. They keep a lot of records on the events that happen.

[Lloyd blows out an exasperated breath, runs his hand through his hair and lets his shoulders slump.]

Now that Colette's cured, I can focus on other things more.

[luxuriant]

[He's so angry... Zelos isn't really sure what he did to piss him off so badly, but he's not so sure he doesn't deserve it, either. Maybe he was right and this was all leftover from his betrayal. Or maybe he slipped up somewhere else in this conversation? Either way, they still have a little ways to go before they get to their destination, so he can only look to the side and keep walking.]

I'm not saying I don't have an opinion. I've got plenty. I've been through the library multiple times, I've spoken to everyone I know, that Alvin guy included, and I've already decided that the Enforcers aren't my kind of group.

[He lets silence fall for a few more moments before he drops both hands to his sides, tucking them into his pockets.] I thought you might have a plan you're already working on. I wasn't trying to criticize you if you've been too busy with Colette.

[boredalready]

[He's annoyed about everything because he just feels like he should've done more but Colette was way more important the time. Zelos just poked is own open sore. He doesn't blame his friend.]

I'm not saying join them. I'm saying talk to them. And I don't mean the pricks that run them. There are plenty of people who are members of the group but are decent.

[Lloyd looks over at Zelos and smiles before nudging him.]

When've I ever had a plan that wasn't thrown together at the last moment? Especially without the Professor and Genis around.

[luxuriant]

Haha... Maybe I've been meeting the wrong members.

[He sways a little bit with that nudge, bumping Lloyd right back as they walk.] I'm... tired of just running away or waiting to see what happens. I think I'm going to try to see what I can do to make things right. I don't really have a plan either, but... maybe I can figure something out.